{Friday, 8 February 2013} 5:53 am
Have you ever been those awkward moments when your friends are hanging out with you AND their boyfriend/girlfriend at the same place and you just like, "Oh man, what the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here anymore." and you do the walk of shame towards the exit.
OR
you stay there, watching them talking to each other, patiently waiting for your turn to talk but you feel like you can't say any words because you just don't know what to talk about.
It's like they have their own world where nobody else in it and you're not a part of it too.

I don't know. But that's the magic of a pair of lovebirds.

I know it sounds weird for me to say but, somehow, sometimes, okay....I long for someone (a boy) to share my stories with.
Okay?
It's not like I want a boyfriend, I just want to tell everything to this person, you know? You feel me? Whoever you are?
Someone to, well, care for me.
Deep beneath my carefree exterior, sometimes I showed my vulnerable side you know, and I'm hoping whenever I feel so low someone is there beside me to lift my spirit up again.
I know it's a lot to ask but, the thing is I just want someone to be there for me.
Can someone just stay for me... for longer than just a few months?

Almost 90% of my friends have their own special person. Although they say "Don't worry, we're here, you're not alone." I feel so lonely most of the time. It's not because they're ignoring me or what, it's just, you know, indescribable.
And confusing at the same time.
I wonder what makes me stay alone all these times? Is it because my worst taste in music? My habit to oversimplifying complex matters? Am I very ugly? My stubbornness maybe? Or my obsession over Naruto?
I don't know.
I wish I was normal like my sister.

I am tired of pretending to be strong in front of people you know? I'm a human, I have feelings too.
Often times, when someone gave up on me, all I can do is to smile and let it go if it's not worth fighting for.
Besides, it's their call.
I guess they grew tired of me over time and subsequently gave up.
It's okay, I get it.
I don't mind, I can find someone else :)
But the million dollar question is...
When?