{Saturday, 2 February 2013} 7:51 am
Have you ever thought;
You're stuck in a rut?
Nobody understands you?
You don't belong here?
Nobody loves you?
Your life is a mess?
And on top of it all, have you ever thought of going somewhere you'd never been to, where nobody knows who you are and you are free to do things that you always wanted to do?

I have.
And I think of running away everyday.

It's not like my life is a mess, no. But somehow, there are days when my moods are light and good, and there are times when I just feel like shit.
When I feel like trash, I always withdraw from everything and pour my feelings on my writings; whether it's on blog or simply my computer.
I don't feel like talking when I'm not in the mood.
Plus, I don't want people to ask "What happened?" or "What's wrong?" or "Are you okay?"
If you really don't want to get hurt by my response, please do not say anything. I tend to be really heartless and detached when my mood is very low. You know? I never blamed PMS or hormonal change when it comes to my mood because I know the exact cause.

These days, I feel like my luck has run out. I don't know, I don't feel like as lucky as I used to back on those days.
Maybe it has something to do with my lucky charms Castor and Pollux?
I don't use them again in school because the fake oracle forbids me.
And that person gave me a hard time today.
Oh, I just want to get out of this heavily structured environment and settle off somewhere where there are no one to tell me what to do.
I just hate rules you know?

Maybe Taurus is a hard sign. They are stubborn yet delicate. People don't know what to do with a Taurus.
We tend to get mood swings a lot, you just can't tell a Taurus's mood. If today we're good, there is no promises tomorrow we'll be like that again.
We just, unpredictable.
As I'm writing this with sour mood, iTunes plays Fix You and tears really streaming down my face.
I don't know why, I just don't feel okay. My mind is wandering between running away and line up of try outs for the upcoming weeks.
Ah, I hate being Taurus.

Just tonight I head outside and saw beautiful scenery above my rooftop, the stars.
I remember that I had adopted the Latin saying;
Astra inclinant, sed non obligant.
Which means; the stars incline us, they do not bind us.
So everytime I see stars on night sky, I'm always thinking that they are my motivation to be free.
They motivate me to move on, to go with my life, to just follow my heart do not listen to what people telling me to do.
And I'm just; Wow, let me pack my things, lace up my shoes and just leave.
Where to?
Anywhere. As long as I can still see the stars above my twinkling, I know I am not alone.

xo,