{Saturday, 18 June 2011} 10:08 pm
this thing kept bugging me all night long.
last night i pulled out the all nighter, i can't sleep. my mind wandered nowhere.
this issue makes me dizzy, yet still unclear if it's coffee or this thing that makes me dizzy anyway.

last night, i realize that blackberry, was the only place we can connect.
i'm scared if we're separated later on 11th grade, we'll be lost contact.
i don't want that to happen... truly i don't really know what to feel this time.
last night was... random.

a friend of mine says i supposed to be excited or something cause someone that i had crush on somehow asked me out.
but, read again. i wrote, i had. not i have.
it's a past tense is it? so that means, i once had a crush on him but i've lost that feeling.
weird...
at this moment, actually i'm afraid of losing someone.
this pattern is somehow sick. why?

example:
first, i had crush on A.
then i began to get closer to him.
when we close, and he flirt me back, i withdraw.
then i find B somehow interesting, so i began to flirt him.
when we close again... i back away again.

haha that explains why do i don't have a bf for a loooong time.
boyfriend thingy just don't fit me well.


btw, yesterday someone asked me about an issue that pretty much distraught me.
slavery.
what's a slavery?
for me, slavery is a form of indirectly physical persecution. that occurs anywhere in the world.
anywhere.
easy example of slavery, we can find it on Blood Diamond movie, where black men were used for mining the diamonds and other precious metals.

slavery even exist long time ago when Roman Empire still stood, slaves were being fed to the lions to amusing the emperor and aristocrats.
they thought slaves don't have right to object their master's will. unless someone freed them with plentiful ransom.

worst slavery case were in the US, more precisely in southern region, when cotton farming were booming. a case that eventually leads to american civil war between south and north america.
racial issue dominates, black people were employed as slaves in white people's farm.
Lincoln was a strong opponent of slavery, he was inaugurated as a US president on the verge or civil war.
northern people admires him while southern people resent him.
he was shot to death by a confederate sympathizer.

tragic end is it for someone like him that care much to this world. for me southern people that time were very naive, they couldn't care less to their slaves, only afraid of being poor.
may God punished them :''''''

it's sunday and i'm bored to death, need to play the sims i guess, byeeeeeeeeee see ya mwamwa.
xo
fud