{Monday, 6 December 2010} 3:15 am
physics, Y U NO EXTINCT?
goddamn it. it was my first time, ever in this world being tricked into a situation which giving you false hope.
darling i was so sure that i got good marks on physics... but then...... i actually got 56.
excellent.
my chance to enter science class has gone, dude. lost. gone. awfully went away.
physics is the most cunning lesson ever are. it was purrrrfect when you could answer all the questions and well, i was so sure that i'll pass this one.
but what? fuck the what. fuck the truth.
OH MY FUCKING LORD I'D NEVER BE A DOCTOR.

then i've got my backup plan.
there'll always plan b.
but my plan b...... errr....
ok. you could say it "almost impossible" and really off-beat and I don't know if people these day still do this job.
ok, relax and read.
if i can't be a fuckin doctor. i'd like to be... an adventurer, spelunker, bounty hunter, artifact hunter.
well it's pretty like.... Tomb Raider. sort of.

imagine you walked into a cave, you explore it, you find many amazing rare species, new species, where you can't find anywhere in the world....... and the government pay for you.
and some wealthy idiot who pays you a lot, to retrieve ancient artifact just for decoration in their home.
and imagine that you've got a partner which is your own spouse who have same interest as you are, your spouse has a great sense of adventure and they love to travel with you anywhere whilst still visible in the world map.
well, if i could say. life is short. make it count. every second counts.
every second that had passed, would never came back to you even you pleading it to God.
soooooo we have to make it worth dude.
truth is, i'd never ever wanna stay at home nursing my kids while my hubby went out working.
that's not so me, i want some piece of adventure!
i wanna see every inch of this earth,
i wanna stay in every town in this world,
i wanna climb every possible (even the impossible) mountain in any mountain range,
i wanna dive in blue hole in Belize,
i wanna run freely in any meadows in midwest America,
i wanna rolling through the hill in Swiss,
i wanna go kayaking through river in Prague,
i wanna go skydiving in Australia,
i wanna see desert moon in Arizona,
i wanna go skiing in Norway,
i wanna see aurora on northern hemisphere,
i wanna live with the Eskimos in northern US,
i wanna join the scientist research in South Pole,
i wanna sail through Caribbean waters to infinity and beyond~

there's so many dreams that i can't listed here.....
then those dreams ARE possible.
the only problem just...
if only we live that long.

do i have time to make those dreams come true?
will i live long? what if i died by avalanche in Himalayas? or maybe drowned in Caribbean? or eaten alive by polar bear? or... just forget it all?

i dream.
it's good, dreams does keep you motivated, but dream a realistic one.
i know my dreams are somewhat..... impossible.
but IMPOSSIBLE just a word, derived from three words : I'M POSSIBLE.

MAAAAAN THERE'S NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE IN THIS WORLD.
even that Armstrong dude had stepping his feet out there in the moon which leaves a permanent mark there.
here's the deal, you can reach the moon. why can't you reach anything whilst it still inside the earth?
to you person without dreams, or to you who thinks mine are absurd and i'm insane or childish. at least i've some destination about where and what will i reach.

it was my dream since kid to be an explorer, yet my family does have an adventurer blood.
my Father for simple, he loves to travel by land, he hates brief trip, he loves to go anywhere whilst on foot.
my Gram, paternal gram. he once travel to bali-jakarta by car frequently, and sometimes he went to Jogja by car just to bought his favorite meal.
my Gram's brother, he's a traveler, he once exploring the Europe by himself with land transportation (with bus, train, etc).
my late uncle, he was around 17 when he died at mt. Gede. he was bitten by a rattlesnake because he was wearing short boot while he climb.
and my maternal gram, he loves to fly using small aircraft.

mmm shows that my family are thrill seeker, risk taker, but i don't think i am.
well, it could change rite through times?

or maybe i'd be wasting my life by married in 16 y.o with some Latina, who rides a lowrider with hydraulics, blabbering like a rapper and looking good in white tank.
and occasionally got domestic violence at home, without children and I'll off to the desert with my only car and filed our divorce while he's setting our house on fire.

dearly life, thank you for giving me such life.
you let me live in Indonesia. such beautiful country, tropical country. not many people blessed to live here. not many people had chance to see the beach, traveling from island to island, see the volcanoes, and see a great range of flora-fauna diversity in their country.
yes i am blessed to live here, i realize that lot of people dreamed about living on an island, with white sandy beach, and bluish water. lots of coconut tree...
GODDAMN IT WE HAVE IT ON OUR COUNTRY!
i just love this country, i don't wanna trade my life for any famous person's life like those Hollywood actresses, cause i know living a famous life isn't that easy. even though their life seemed perfect, but we don't know what they really feel right?

ok, my other dream was being a pirates.
sounds weird... but yeah i do want to sail through the sea........ sea represents freedom, freedom is priceless.
like what i've learned from Pirates of The Caribbean movies, when Jack was fighting those East India Trading Co. for his own kind freedom. those pirates does live freely... sailing from sea to sea, to wrecked and hijacked other ships that passed by...
i'd like to live like that.
someday... or maybe in the afterlife? i'll ask God to giving me a chance to feel it.
nowadays pirates aren't too prominent, maybe almost extinct. the only exist pirates that i know is only those Somalian pirates...

back to track dear.
ok, think of something...
congratulation Indonesia, our football team had emerged two glorious victory over Laos and Malaysia.
the next opponent would be Thailand, and I do hope it's not really a big deal for us.
these football games kinda reminds me of World Cup 2010 which lasts for a month.
frankly enough I do miss those moments, where i could staying up all night just to see football matches with friends via blackberry messenger, such convenient where i could watch football matches while chatting and voicenote-ing in one touch.
FML i miss world cup season!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tomorrow is a shit, just will be another hectic day.
OK I MESSED UP.
here, i have to repeat almost ALL of subjects. i got bad marks on science and social studies, so do to language and religion.
listen, i wasn't born for math. i wasn't supposed to learn social studies and civics, i got no talent on science and language, and i never ever could understand religion.
i can't even read the koran...
yeah i admit that i was born in multi-religion family, and i appreciate that because it makes me understand people well.
but this makes me confused of myself, I'm a muslim but i don't even know what am i supposed to do as muslim haha.
sounds weird, yeah i'm not a devout muslim, my parents too. but half of my family is a devout catholic. so i'm in between these religions even though i incline to muslims. so my bad marks on religion isn't strange again.

taraaa! i barely watch (again) beauty and the beast.
it suits me well.
ok, i'm in a condition where i like a person. not very good-looking one. yeah he's not that attractive but who cares? people would say he's violent when they see him for the first time. but when i spent my time with him, it turns out to be otherwise.
he just..... kind. so kind. very kind. unbelievably kind.... he just... looks like beast.
when outer appearance makes people think that he's rude and violent, while actually he's kind... and gentle.
he might be not the most famous person in school, but i'm quite sure that he's the kindest around.
he just makes me... makes me...... lucky to enter that school.
but hmm, let's just back to reality that he might never noticed me or whatev :) i'm glad that i know him.

and this one is really new.
so i was randomly see someone twitpic on twitter, and i found a very touchy pic... it was really cute, a mother kiss her daughter like sooooo cute. so cute. i'm loss of words. but it was really cute, ah God y do you so fair? :)
she's a nigga but God gave her latina husband which makes her daughter is quite pretty xD.
aah and her husband was kinda sweet. such dreamy fam. and i read her tweets, shows that she's upset when her husband was playing playstation. LOL. every girl in the world face the same problem i think.
it just cute to see such family, makes me want one... ok i'll have wait for another 10 years again i think.. then i could start my own family!!! can't wait!
i'll have 3 kids.
2 boys and a girl. their names would be Titania, Oberon and Puck ( i was fascinated by Uranus satellites.) or maybe they'll have some nature-based names. like winter breeze, summer, minty morning, mint julep... pina colada... mojitos... margarita.... ok it's not "nature" names.
but the important thing is!! i'll raise my kids along the nature, i'll let them sleep in warm grass every spring... they'll playing freely in the forest, they'll swim on the lake, they'll learn how to gather food in the woods, they'll be following their father's footstep of being an adventurer.
so purrrrrrfect baby i can't wait to grown up!!!!

ok i think i spammed enough. thanks for reading anyway xoxo sorry for bad grammar dude im workin on it