{Monday, 24 August 2009} 7:08 pm
oh Goooooooood youre really torturing me now
why do you always give me hard time on September? this is exactly like last year but....

ive got a friend, i like him but for friend only cause he's willing to listen all my stupid fucking problem, hell yeah i listen to his too but lately i got strange things in my minds.
smtms i wonder secretly if he likes me or not, i bet he wont cause he talk about his crush and me too talk about my problm with my own crush a lot.
these days he said his friend declared her love to him, and i give him my opinion, bad opinion MUAHAHAHA
and i never think he will love her back cause he said he wont date someone from his school AGAIN, but i think im wrong, i said to him to accept her ( i said this just for joking, cause i think he'll never accept her and so on) but suddenly he says that maybe he likes her....
OMG
okay ill try to control myself here, but i hope i dont like him, even though im afraid losing him after he dates her.
i know im naive
selfish
immature
but please God, i do care for him, i want the best for him but is this the way?
can you do something else Gooooooooood? please?
but if this the only way, ill let him go :(
even though its hurt
but, well its for him, i have to be mature now, no jealousy, cause please pupuuuuuuuuut you dont like him okay, the only person you like is here in INDONESIE
but still, he's very warm and caring person, think i like him not love him, and im afraid he'll date her,he wont care again to me

oh i hate to admit this but, i think i need him

he can acted as my older brother, maybe thats what i really need, a brother who cares to me, ask me to eat and mad if im disobeying him hahaha
and shit im really crying now,

ooooooh i hope it isnt love
bye